As I was scrolling through social media the other day, I stumbled on a post created by a person on my friend list. Thankfully, this is not someone who I know very well but, it still upset me. It was a picture of a rainbow with the caption, “I might lose friends over this… but the rainbow is a symbol of God’s promise to never flood the whole Earth again. It is not a symbol of some of the sins that provoked the flood.” I thought about this for a while. I did some research and I decided that I wanted to offer another perspective. I felt compelled to show that there are many interpretations of the bible but, the same core values seem to be present through out, such as, love thy neighbor and only God can judge. I commented and cited this https://www.hrc.org/resources/what-does-the-bible-say-about-homosexuality. What came next floored me….
The Hatred
I was sarcastically told that I was twisting the truth. To this I replied that everyone sins and my sins will not be punished more harshly than someone else’s. That’s the thing about equality, we are all equal no better, no worse. Only God can judge anyway. The bible says love thy neighbor. I told this person I was going to work on that and I hoped that this person did as well. I was again met with more sarcastic rhetoric about twisting the truth.
A friend of this person then jumped in and started talking about stories from the bible like Sodom and Gomorrah, comparing the gay lifestyle to Sodomy, asking how I would explain my life of sin to God, stating that hell is a real place and lots of people will to end up there. The original poster then said this is something you can repent from, change!
I fully expected this kind of response because, I understand that people have very strong personal beliefs when it comes to this topic however, what came next shook me to my core. The original poster then shared a picture from the early 1900’s of a person in a chair, hooked up to a machine, with the comment that he should try electroshock therapy, he heard it works great and even cures hiccups…. this person is equating gay people to something less important than an animal……. we don’t even treat animals that way people. That’s when it hit me, this is still a huge problem in this country. This is America, we are allowed to believe whatever we want and live our lives however we like because we are free humans. I respect people’s difference in opinion, that’s what makes America great. What I can not swallow is the hatred that comes along with the it. If I don’t look like you, act like you and believe like you, this gives you the right to hate me. This is American and because we are free, you have the right to feel however you want towards me but, I also have the right to stand up for myself.
The original poster went on to say, no one wants to see us living our gay life, especially not children. He doesn’t want to see our gay pride flags flying all over his home town. In his opinion there shouldn’t be a gay pride month because we should just hide who we are as people, as he so eloquently puts it, ” if they would just keep their mouths shut, no one would know they were gay.” So this guy thinks that I should never go out in public with my wife and two kids because, clearly we are a gay family! I should hide myself and my family away at home and never been seen in public together. He then says that this way of thinking is common sense and calls gay people morons.. He then compares gay’s to murderers. He says that we tell murderers to suppress their feeling to commit murder, why can’t we tell gays to suppress their feelings. Then he says that this is again logic.. By this point in the thread the whole conversations has just taken the most hateful turn.. but, wait there’s more..
I commented and stated that Gay people are born gay and that god loves us just the way we are because he created us just the way we are. The original posters buddy gets in on this school of thought and suggests that Homosexuality is a mental illness, stating that you are born “normal” and then something happens that triggers “it”. He said if this is proven and picks up traction then no one is born gay. He then states that we like to say that because it makes us feel “normal”, but we aren’t. He then talks about how seeing two men who are affectionate with each other makes him sick and how little kids who are exposed to this are so confused. I don’t know about this guy but, all the kids I have ever been around understand just fine and don’t seem confused at all because their parents teach them that there are many different kinds of people in this world and that not all families look like theirs. It scares the shit out of me to think that there are actually people in this world who think that homosexuality is a mental illness and that we should be made to hide away in our homes and treated with shock therapy…. what age are you living in??
Next comes the threat that if we aren’t careful, the society who hates us so much and has just been tolerating us, might take away all the rights that we have worked so hard for. At this point I am speechless.. Maybe I’m naïve, maybe I just wanted to believe that people were better than this. This is the kind of thinking that was prevalent 80 years ago, I really thought that we had moved past this. I can honestly say in my entire 16 years of being open about my sexuality I have never encountered such hatred.
My Reason
I know some people might be thinking, poor girl got her feelings hurt. No, that is not what this is. That exchange was an attempt to get me to shut my mouth and go away. It was an attempt to intimidate me into becoming someone I’m not. It was an effort to control me. I am here to say that you will never control me! You will not intimidate me! You will not change me!
Before Maranda and I had kids we didn’t care so much about what people thought but, now having kids as a gay couple makes us even more of a target. Every single time we go out in public we are cautious about the people around us. We worry for our safety because we aren’t hiding our family away in some closet some where. Having Kids up’s the ante for us, this no longer just effects Maranda and I, It effects our kids.
My babies are little right now, they are innocent. They don’t know hatred or differing opinions. No one has ever spoken nasty words to them or told them that their lives are wrong. I am not stupid, I know it’s going to happen and I cringe for the day that it does but, I will prepare my children. I will make sure that they understand that not everyone is nice and not everyone is going to agree with them and that’s ok they don’t have to. However, someone else’s opinion does not diminish their worth. I will teach them that it’s ok to be different and not everyone looks the same. I will teach them love and compassion and empathy. I will also teach them to stand up for themselves and for others. If they see or hear something that they don’t agree with it’s ok to respectfully speak up, regardless of what other people think.
How Do We Make The Change
Here’s the truth of the matter, we are never going to change another person unless they want to change and honestly that shouldn’t be the goal anyway. We should live our lives just the way we are and show everyone that we don’t care about their opinions. At the end of the day that’s what they are, just opinions. They try to back their hatred with scripture to justify their ugliness but, most Christians agree that’s not what the bible teaches. Everyone has an opinion and it’s ok if it’s not the same as yours, that doesn’t mean you have to be nasty and hateful just because you don’t agree.
I’ve found the best way to deal with nasty people is to kill’em with kindness. As hard as it is, it shows more character and grace on your part if you don’t resort to hate and disrespect. It’s not easy, I know but, don’t stoop to their level.
This is not to say that we shouldn’t stand up for ourselves in peaceful ways and by all means if you feel yourself or someone else’s safety is in danger than do whatever you feel Is necessary to protect yourself or someone else.
I want to show the world that I don’t care what they think, I will continue to live my true and authentic life! I will love my wife openly and with all my heart! You will see my family out enjoying ourselves. I won’t be scared, intimidated or forced to be someone that I’m not. I realize there are always going to be people that aren’t going to like me, and that’s ok. I don’t live my life to please other people and you shouldn’t either. I will continue to hold my head up high and I hope you do as well!!
If you are feeling depressed or feel like you need to talk to someone please use these resources below and reach out. You might be just one person to the world but, to one person you are their world! You matter and you are loved!
https://www.smabehavioral.site/
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